Back to the grind- 2023

 Time flies and how! 

From my post back in 2020 on loving myself to today (May, 2023), while the world has emerged from the grips of coronavirus, and life has moved on in a big way, I am still swaying between weight gain, diets and exercise. 

The bigger struggle is between self loving and self loathing! I managed to lose good amount of weight back in 2020 for a while, practicing suryanamaskar everyday. But in a short period of time, my unhealthy relationship with food has brought me back to same weight that I was with a baby in tummy, in 2018. And this time minus a baby.  

It would be so simple if Food was my nemesis! But the enemy is within, the behaviour that seeks comfort in food, the same behaviour that gave me a let out in moments of despair, without letting me breakdown completely. My frenemy! 

I am back to the grind of challenging myself, to break thru this weight gain. Started with Suryanamaskar once again, challenging myself to practice daily. While the mind builds fanciful pictures of doing 108 surya Namaskar everyday, the poor body is struggling to do a number upward of 20.  

But one ain’t stopping at just this - plan is to couple this with strength training at the gym 2-3 times a week, under the guidance of Sameer (whose 13 is thurrreeen)! 

And just today I have had the inspiration to also add 10k steps to my goals of daily yoga, weekly strength training  

This should be fun.  I am not one to run away from a fight  let’s bring it on! Full force of PP

The Myth of Happy Ever-After

The curse of Social Media is that it puts an unnecessary and unjustified stress on people to portray the picture of a perfect everything - Perfect life, Perfect Marriage, Perfect Hair, Perfect skin/makeup, homes and what have you.
But life is noT perfect and was not meant to be so. Perfect is a make believe of the Insta-world.
I pity the 20-something’s who have fallen into this trap, not knowing better.

In line with the above thought, I confess that I never expected my marriage to be perfect. As with every young girl, I had day- dreamed of my perfect wedding and married life with a devoted and loving husband. But day-dreams and make beliefs are far from the harsh realities of life. I truly and honestly confess that I never thought my married life would be so difficult.

My husband and I come from different backgrounds- chalk and cheese. Ours is still a young marriage- 8 years in the making and a baby to show for it. I had resisted the idea of marriage for a long time. Primarily because I didn’t find anyone who had the same vision for life as I did. And also because I had zero tolerance for the societal farce of “In laws’ expectations”  I was always clear that the person I would marry would have to accept me

When I met my husband I truly and honestly felt that I wanted to share my life with him. We were both working for the same organisation in Mumbai. Life was chill (this was the ‘Siffin solah’phase)   I genuinely liked spending time with him and looked forward to meeting him eagerly. I respected the fact that he was a self made man and very aggressive about his future. 

Our entire courtship of six months or so was actually simple and free of melodrama. The only glitch that time being that I was under treatment for abdominal coax. 

Before I realised, I found myself caught in the same family drama that I had long hoped to avoid. In-laws expectations, husband’s expectations, motherhood expectations! 

The aftermath of married life is telling, no matter with how much love you start the journey.